


The Existential Implicaions of Folding Laundry

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Angst, Canon Trans Character, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Microfic, Not Epilogue Compliant, POV Alternating, POV First Person, POV Second Person, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon, Trans Female Character, Well maybe it is I haven't finished reading them so uh. Yah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:35:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21665278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A young woman sits in her bedroom. Even though she was just folding laundry moments ago, it just so happens that this moment is when the overwhelming weight of her existence came crashing down onto her. What will she do?
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24
Collections: June Egbert Jam





	The Existential Implicaions of Folding Laundry

**Author's Note:**

> Potentially triggering stuff includes: Depiction of a panic episode, internalized transphobia, negative self talk; all in second and first person

It had been two years since you came out. Five years since Roxy came out, three and a half years since you started figuring out why you were upset and so jealous of him, two and a half years since Terezi and Vriska came back from the Outer Ring and finally knocked some sense into you, and two years since you could admit to yourself and your friends that you were June now, and you’ve always been here, and, yes, you were a homo sexual now, Dave. You were 25 years old, and age had imparted some time less wisdom to you:

Laundry was long and exhausting. 

Existence in general was exhausting, but laundry specifically was more of a pain than it had any right to be. No other chore completely takes over your day like laundry does. It’s stupid! Stick stuff in a machine for half an hour, not do any thing actually engaging because you know you’ll have to get up too soon, and then you have to go and move stuff to another machine and repeat the process, and then by the end after you’ve done multiple loads and had to re-rinse some stuff because the Tide Pods got tangled in it and made it a disgusting mess and even though you’ve already spent too much time invested in this, you have to keep on going because if you don’t put your clothes away neatly then they're a wrinkled mess, which is something you theoretically like to avoid because you don’t want to give people another excuse to judge you because your life was already enough of an excuse to be judged and mis treated so if you could just keep a closet of well maintained dresses and shit then people could take you seriously even though you only wear the same three out fits over and over because they’re the only ones that don’t make you hate your body and your self and-

You think you should stop thinking about this. 

Either way, laundry was long and exhausting.

But, surprisingly, today hadn’t been that bad! You’d already gotten everything out of the drier (only one load in there today) and were a decent bit through putting stuff away. You had some music going to keep you company (and distracted), Lemon Demon gently reverberating through your dresser. You were in the process of putting your underwear away and, honestly, were feeling pretty okay, you think. The particular article that you were in the process of folding was a blue silk panty with cute black lace frills. It was one of your favorites, and it felt so light and soft in your hands and. 

And you always needed to put it on over some thing else because the material was too soft for you to be able to effectively tuck. In fact, you’d been unthinkingly been pairing similarly soft panties with less stretchy ones the entire time you’d been folding your clothes, this was just the one that didn’t have a pair. Other people don’t have to do that, I think to myself. Absolutely nothing about the room had changed, but it suddenly feels like a weight has settled on me and I am so pain fully in the present moment and I feel like I can’t see any thing I’m just blindly staring at this under wear. Still, my thoughts keep racing (calm down, June)- as much as I like them, it’s not even like I can really pull them off well when I have another pair of under wear peeking out from under neath, like, what? And it’s just. So unfair that I need to be constantly thinking about all of these things that other women (normal women, chimes a cruel voice in the back of my head) don’t need to. 

For some stupid reason, it’s just absolutely shocking that this stupid panty that I’m still holding but now it’s bunched up in my hand and is starting to get wet because I’m crying on it (I wonder if Dad would still be proud of me now), stupid, stupid, stupid me, stupid under wear that other people can look at and see some thing that isn’t expressly designed to go over another pair. Like, people can just. Wear this?? With no thing else??? And it won’t ruin their lives???? It’s bull shit and I hate how jealous it makes me and I hate that I can’t just have that and why? Why do I have to care so much and why can’t my life just be simpler or easier and I’m so, so tired and I just want one second of peace or to be done for ever or-

I shakily reach over and turned the volume up on your phone. You slide off of the step stool you’d been sitting on and brace yourself against the wall and you just close your eyes. You barely hear the music and don’t know how long you stayed sitting there, but eventually decide that you’ll just deal with having to get some of your clothes out of the hamper. You don’t want your dresses to be wrinkled, but you think that you’re too tired to deal with that now. 

The dark blue panties stay unfolded. 

Laundry still sucks.

**Author's Note:**

> Me: *has a panic attack*  
> Me: oh I should make a fanfic out of this!!  
> Also I realize now that this could have not necessarily been a June-specific fic but. It felt fitting and that's what I was thinking when writing so? I dunno, blame pgenpod for giving me the idea, not me!!


End file.
